What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
