just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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