He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
