ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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