Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
