Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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