hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
