i was rollin on her like bob the builder
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
And then my night got REAL pukey
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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