I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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