jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
