I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
