i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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