That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
