Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
