Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
