Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
True strength comes from lack of pants
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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