walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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