His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
