I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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