I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
