it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
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