if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
