hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
