I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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