I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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