Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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