So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
