There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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