I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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