i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
