I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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