The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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