Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
