The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
