How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
