Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
