That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
