I wannas sexs uuuuu
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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