hotel room ftw
hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
