We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
