i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
