the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
