Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Randomize
