What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
