Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
me + whiskey = a bad person
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
