is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
