when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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