Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
You can't special order awesome
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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