My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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