so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
