we're blogging at a bar
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
