Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
