That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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