I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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